Raising Biracial Children: Teen Struggles for Children and Parents
I have had a lot of time to really think, of what really helps a biracial child. There are a lot of things that you can do to make your child’s life easier. The main way is by being there for them when they need it most, or even when they don’t believe they need it. It is important to always know that when you become a parent everything you say or do is going to be soaked in by your child.
Even when you may think something that what you do that isn’t that bad, you are a role model for your child and they will always look up to you as what is right and wrong. This is important to know because if you wonder later in your child’s life why they have bad habits or doesn’t react to a situation correctly.
These may be habits or situations they have seen from you as a parent and it is now reflecting onto him. The saying that you are only as good as the company you keep, coincides with what I am explaining. If you aren’t good company (parent) then your child will have difficulty trying to figure what is right course of action in various situations.
My parents worried all the time
I was fortunate to have a very caring mother as a child. She tried her hardest to show me the right direction. However, I had a lot of trouble as a teen trying to prove myself to my peers. I was willing to do many wrong things that I knew were wrong to gain their respect. This problem had gotten me in situations I didn’t need to be in.
I had a mother who worried all the time about where I was and what I was getting myself into. I had made choices in my life at the time that I knew weren’t good for me. I knew that because my mom taught me the right way I just didn’t choose to follow.
I made mistakes
It took me a long time to realize that the people I was trying so hard to impress were really people I didn’t need to have respect from at all. However, once I had went through all these situations eventually, a light flashed in my head that and it was my mom telling me it’s time to step up. At this point, I accepted and faced the consequences of my actions.
It took a while to be able to get my life back on track. It wasn’t fun, and wasn’t easy. However, when I finally started doing the right thing and being able to start over, it was a liberating feeling. Thank goodness it wasn’t too late.
I started to weed out the friends that were not healthy to me from the ones that were actually there for me. I got me a better job that offered me a lot of hours and good pay. This helped me by not having much down time to get myself into more trouble.
Hang in there parents…it’s worth it
I really started rebuilding my relationship with my mom, because the older I got the more I realized my mom was right on what was right and wrong. I started feeling better each day and more and more relaxed because I wasn’t going the wrong way on the path of life. I started being relieved that I didn’t have to look over my shoulders every day. I know a life of going to work and going home doesn’t sound that appealing. However, neither does jail nor probation because you wanted to be doing things you know aren’t legal or right.
I have faced the prospect of both of those consequences because I wanted to go out and live it up like there was no tomorrow. Trust me I know but, believe me the actions you do now can destroy future opportunities you would have had if you would have just done the right thing from the get go. Thank goodness I learned my lesson before ruining my life.
I know what it is like to not want to be the “chicken” when your friends want you to do something you shouldn’t. I can understand that peer pressure can be a big factor in which you get yourself in a situation, you wouldn’t be in without your peers pushing you to do so. You have to know that at the end of the day their so called acceptance isn’t needed if it only gets you in trouble.
The crazy thing is I did all of those dumb things to get respect. However, I don’t even talk to any of those people anymore. Don’t be the one that gets caught up in a bad situation that affects your future. While you are dealing with the consequences there moving on with their lives.
I got it right and changed my path
My final note is parents for you to help your kid you have to be involved with your child. You also have to be willing to have those uncomfortable conversations not for you but for your child. As for the child, you have to realize your parents have been your age and even if they might not be your age in your generation they still know more about life then you do. Ask yourself,” are my parents punishing me for something I really shouldn’t be doing?”
Lastly, are you doing something in your life that could change the course of the rest of your life if you get caught? if so, you should redirect what you’re doing to get yourself back on track? That way you can get your life back on track and excel and be whatever you want to be. Remember, shoot for the stars that way if you miss your still be on the moon. ~Sean
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