If You Think Raising A Biracial Child Is Like Raising Any Other Child Then Your Probably Doing It Wrong

June 22, 2016 josierk 6 comments

if-you-think-raising-a-biracial-child-is-like-raising-any-other-child-then-your-probably-doing-it-wrongI had a friend come to me recently about a comment another parent had made to her. She told me that they felt she was making a big deal out of raising a biracial child and that it was like raising any other child.


I do not know who I felt worse for, this amazing woman whose battle I know and share everyday raising my beautiful biracial child or the child of this parent who is obviously not able to recognize the struggles their own child may be enduring. I can accept a comment like this from someone who doesn’t have a biracial child or from someone whose child is very young, but from a fellow parent of a biracial child, really?
Our children don’t always show us the battle, but society will always make sure it is there. It will hit different children at different times, but rest assured that our children will face things that “any other child” will never face.
They will be victims of racism in their lives in one form or another, they will get skipped over for something they deserve for a white child, they will have to answer hard questions like, “what are you”, “is that your mom: or “why is your hair like that? ” They will be called ugly names by some kids and they may even be targeted by police as they get older. If you don’t face the facts they will be ill prepared for even the most minute things that will come.

I am almost angered that someone minimized our children’s struggle!

Just because there are people out there that say racism is not real doesn’t make it any less of a reality. Ignoring the fact that our children will face these battles won’t make them go away, but it does make the child feel more alone in the world, a world they are already looking to find their place in.
To say that they are not going to face these issues because they have white blood is as pathetic and unrealistic as saying that they are black due to the one drop rule.
People need to wake up! These children are not only different, they are special, and they need to be raised by strong women who can get them ready for the things to come. They are not only our future but they are the future generations. It is up to us to build them up, and we must teach them how to fight ignorance rather than being ignorant ourselves.

Raising Biracial Children is not the same as single race child.

The only people who can get away with saying this would be a black parent, period. This is because their children do suffer the same setbacks, discrimination, favoritism and losses, the same racism that ours eventually do face. So, if you say that raising a biracial child is the same as raising any other child you are probably doing it wrong, which will end up hurting that amazing child who needs you to recognize the differences while building them up for the journey ahead. After all, how can anyone possibly prepare someone for something they themselves refuse to acknowledge?
This is a journey our children have to make on their own, but we as parents can unite on blogs like this one, interact and share in our journeys hence helping those who come after us. Please leave your comments after the blogs you read here on the BiracialBoom website. When it is left in Facebook comments many never get a chance to learn of/ from your contributions.
Spring L.
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6 Comments on “If You Think Raising A Biracial Child Is Like Raising Any Other Child Then Your Probably Doing It Wrong

  1. I’m pregnant with my first children (twins!) now and I have been wondering a lot about this. I would appreciate hearing from other mothers about what they tell their kids when. I do want them to be confident no matter what but still be prepared to face the rest of the world…

    1. Congratulations. How wonderful to be pregnant with twins! I’m sure your children will be confident because you are already thinking
      about how to support their journey. Make sure to check out our guest blogger, Francine’s, posts. She has twin boys and I’m sure she will find her
      story helpful and interesting. Here is the link: https://biracialboom.com/testimonial/francine-dylan/ to one of her blogs. You can sign up to
      receive email alerts when new blogs are posted here: https://biracialboom.com/sign-up/ ~ I’m so glad you found BiracialBoom! ~Reggie

    2. Conrad’s on twins! How fun! Look Ma, you are gonna do fine. You know how I know? Because you are concerned. It is when parents deny that there is something to be concerned about that we fail our children. I can hear it, you have an intergraded instinct that with support from others traveling the journey will surface when you need it most. You are going to be fine. Mist important, allow your children to travel their own paths with love and support. We cannot set ideals for them. You will kiss a lot of bobos that cant be seen. but building them up through love, morally and spiritually…..you can bet your children ?(and you) are going to be amazing. Unfortunately, though times are changing, there are going to be things said or done to out kids we cant control. We have to teach them to rise above (my first instinct was not to tell her to pray for them) but as her mother that is just what I had to tell her to do.

  2. I have a six year old biracial girl and another on the way. When my child was 3 she came home from Childcare and said pointing to our white side of the family “you’re normal, you’re normal, you’re normal, you’re normal…..” And when I said “and you’re normal” she said “no I’m not normal Mt skin is brown”. Similar comments have come home since relating to her hair. So I spend time talking about how much we love her culture, how we are all the same because we all bleed red blood, how special she is, how beautiful her skin is and that she wont get sunburnt, have as many wrinkles etc. my fear is I want her to be able to look at other people from all races and not judge. But the truth is we do and society does. I want her to be empowered, to stand up for who she is, to be proud of both her cultures. But I get stuck sometimes because I’m afraid in my lifting her spirits I’m also teaching her to know that she is different. I want her and my baby on the way to know that they have exactly the same opportunities as any other child. But at 6, I know she doesn’t feel this because she is the minority and kids are cruel, they can’t help it, it’s deeply seated in their nature. So I would like advice on how to raise a strong child with a positive self esteem, who is brave enough to stand up for herself when it counts and wise enough to back down when it doesn’t. She is so stunningly beautiful, but this doesn’t matter if the mind is not equipped to deal with the discrimination that at times is so subtle, no 6 year old would even know it was happening.

    1. Thank you for sharing and commenting. The struggle is real. My two Biracial sons are now grown and they are confident and strong individuals. They went through a lot though while growing up. Other kids AND their parents can be cruel. My children experienced prejudice from others, mostly subtle, sometimes overt. I made sure they were in a multicultural environment, and that they had a nice little circle of friends, that I gave a LOT of positive reinforcement at home. I prayed a lot. Now, when I ask them how they felt growing up, they do remember some of the bad things but they overwhelmingly remember the good. So, all that to say, I believe your girls will be fine because you are aware and you are their rock. Biracialboom is all about supporting each other and sharing our stories so that we can be better parents. Make sure to read more on this site by clicking on the blog and testimony tabs. You will find a lot of support here. ~Reggie

  3. My son has just had a biracial child and my family will not even acknowledge my grandsons birth. I cannot believe how anyone cannot love a beautiful child of any race. They have hurt me so much. I guess I have alot to learn about this subject. I feel for all children who have to go through anykind of hurt or prejudice growing up. My son was in special ed and I was the Momma bear. I guess I will have to be the Gramma bear too. Maybe that is the wrong approach, I want to do what is right for my grandchild. Any suggestions, since this is all so knew? Thanks for any input you may have to offer.

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