Few things get me more than the age old question, “awwww, is she yours?” I am a bit spicy, so my reaction to it depends on the day. While there are some days I am like, “yes she is” and I go on rambling about how awesome the child is (I mean, they opened the door) while other days I want to point at their child and say “is she yours”. I mean really, it leaves me in awe how people can really not catch on to how rude this question is!
When Charliegh was born she was white. She had straight silky jet black hair. No one thought a thing of it. She got a little darker as she grew, but until her hair started to change and she started getting outside more playing or whatnot the beautiful blend didn’t really show.
Charleigh’s hair went through about 3 stages until she finally got her curl pattern and texture set. She is six now. I think her biracial features really emerged when she was around 3. Before then the only way you could tell was because of the way I was styling her hair with the twists and braids.
With all of that being said, I was well in mom mode the first time someone looked at me baffled and ask whether or not she was mine. I was livid the first time a child on the playground ask me that and followed it up with she can’t be yours you are different colors. I was not angry with the child, I was angry with the racial undertone her parents had to have taught her either knowingly or unknowingly. This baby didn’t develop that without some kind of theme surrounding race in her life somewhere.
This racial undertone pulses throughout society (especially here in the South) and often reaches boiling points that bubble over her and there. It makes the news, and people go back to their way of life having done nothing to truly change anything. A handful of folks alone won’t be able to do it. Until a lot more people care it is going to remain the same.
Racism is alive and well…
I have heard the generation before mine speaking about the old racism dying off. I disagree, these are traits that are passed down through generations There will always be that one guy who teaches his kids to be that guy and so on. These things wont be completely bled out of bloodlines for many, many generations if ever at all.
The only thing we can truly do is proudly speak up and say that they are ours, brag on our children so after the question has been ask that they never want to open that door again with another unsuspecting mother and teach our children to handle these idiots with grace, because many times they don’t even know what they are doing. I say idiots because in most cases it is ignorance that fuels these things.
In the beginning it was far more offensive to me than it is now. I am a chronic picture taker, sharer and if you give me the chance to gush about mine that is exactly what I will do. I am so involved with my child and keeping her involved the “dumb question” askers are happy to find a way to break away from the conversation. It is my open door to talk about my amazing child so that they are left wondering if they should be doing more for theirs. It is my way of not only building my child up but reinforcing that I am proud to be here mom.
Sure, I something feel helpless to protect my child, but I am growing more in confidence as does she. She recently heard her father say something to me in an argument concerning “white people” and she quickly pointed out that she was brown and white.
I think that was a reality check for him, because she has always indicated fully embracing “brown”. It is obvious to us now that she loves and embraced brown and white wholeheartedly. I know that peers, the world and dumb questions or racial tensions will try to force her into one or another over time, but I pray that it doesn’t work. I pray the reinforcement and love is enough to help her overcome, because total self acceptance is a parents dream come true for their child. ~Spring
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