My Reflections on Raising a Biracial Child by Spring Lee.
I remember it like it was yesterday. I walked into the clinic for a check up because I had been feeling a little “off”. I was 37 years old, almost 38 and I never suspected getting pregnant. Her father was 53 with one grown child and I had a health issue that was supposed to have eliminated the chances of my having another child. When they told me I was pregnant I had them redo the test. When I called her father from the lab he made me put the doctor on the phone because he thought it was a joke.
I had three other children, but they were grown. All of my children were Caucasian. I had no idea what to expect. I remember daydreaming a lot about what she would look like, how her hair would be, wondering what her coloring would be and later on in the pregnancy worrying about the world and how she would be accepted into it. Momma bear took over before I ever met my beautiful Charliegh Suzanne. I became a lot more aware of my surroundings and racial issues for sure.
I was scared I would not be able to be there for her through some of the things that she would most certainly face. I was wrong. I know now I am well equipped to help her, she is my child. We moms are built with natural instincts to help, heal and support out children.
I was so excited to be having a child in the era of the nations first black President. What an amazing link to her birth to be able to look back on and tell her about. His second term she grew old enough to recognize and love Obama. Yes, my 6-year-old has a strange obsession with politics. And now, we have Donald Trump. Oh my. Now I get to worry about the “stop and frisk” order, what my child may see and how far he may set us back…but that’s another blog.
Anyways, I done a lot of research. There were not sites like BiracialBoom.com to communicate with other parents when I had Charliegh. There were a lot of learned from mistakes, skin and hair tutorials on YouTube and calls to aunties in Michigan. Things started falling together. I stopped using the most expensive products and stuck with the ones that worked. She was going to be ok, and so was I.
Like all children, Charliegh was not born seeing color. She never even noticed the difference in her family until someone pointed it out to her at the park. Then she was full of questions.
Thankfully her family tree is very public, being a Metoyer in Central Louisiana is a big deal. Her name comes attached to quite a legacy. I loved I had some amazing information to help her embrace who she is in all. She also went through the what color am I stage, and I allowed her to choose, even if that changed daily. She wanted to be “white like mommy” then she was a “brown girl” now she is “light tan” and that’s ok too. Her friends are all colors and nationalities.
There were some tough questions along the way. Martin Luther King Jr. And Rosa Parks were taught to her in school. She really had a lot of questions about the bad white people. I just reinforced that while there were some bad, many people supported and marched with them, boycotted the busses etc. I want her to know that there are just good people and bad people, but color is not at the root of it at all. Color is the governments way of separating us. We are all just people.
The biracial family is more common than ever before. She goes to school with a number of children who look just like her. For this I am go grateful. We live in the South. We still get stares from an old fart here and there, but you now what, that’s their character defect and has nothing to do with me or my child. I haven’t had anyone comment and hurt her feelings yet, if I do Ill blog about how I dealt with that. After all, I am still momma bear.
The important thing is I didn’t break her. I have been able to raise a very confident and loving child. She is smart, and she loves everyone. Today we are both quite comfortable with the skin we are in. She is resilient. I do not see her mixture being a weakness and neither does she. It is an advantage, a blessing, a gift. She is a gift, and she knows it. My biracial daughter has taught me more than I ever knew I didn’t know…lol. She is my inspiration and purpose.
Look for some hair tutorials I will be uploading in the near future and some pretty informative blogs! I am the practical mom, so there will be a lot of effective money saving tricks and products that I will be sharing with you all. I am glad to be back, and I hope you will leave feedback so that I can address any specific questions or concerns that you may have on raising a biracial child. ~Spring
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